Dark Absence
by Cantadora
Summary: If you love something, you should set it free, and if it doesn't come back to you, it was never yours.
1. Patience

Somewhere deep in the caves under the Carpathian Mountains a conversation between two old as the time Carpathians was led.

"You are close to turning, Marcus; you can play around no more! "

"Ah, old friend, I'm more than aware of how close to turning I truly am." – They were deep in the lair of the one named Marcus, and the sigh that came from the other person echoed through the chamber as the whole mountain breather with him, for him.

"I dare to say you are not. You have found your lifemate, but you don't have any time to spare to give her the years she needs to get accustomed to our ways. You need to put your claim on her; you and I both know that the darkness in you is stronger than in every other. You have been fighting it a long time, fighting with iron will and strength not many posses, but you can keep this up no more. The time for fighting that particular fight is long gone, you need to give yourself to your urges and claim what is yours. "

"How many times do I need to repeat myself over the years that I will not cut her free will. She'll never come to me willingly and I will never force her into anything. I think that the conversation is over." – And it was over, obviously Marcus had no intention of hearing more because her just shifted into mist and disappeared.

* * *

Three years later.

Nobody really knows what the old as time Carpathian suffered through those years, the torment must have been unbearable, at least in my opinion but the ancient Marcus never showed anybody anything thorough that time. He had been always aware of his lifemate, where she was, what was she doing, and despite his absence she had been happy, truly happy.

He had decided that he would interfere only if there was any problem, her safety had been first, always was, always will be. Those were the words that he used to repeat to himself but they no longer made any sense. He knew what he wanted, what he needed to survive but he couldn't find the will to disturb her life with his claim. He rarely went hunting, refused to do so knowing that the darkness in him grew with each second, until it grew to a point he could no longer stand it. What would he do when that time came, he didn't know. Facing the dawn had been a solution, but he knew that even if his lifemate didn't feel his absence now, she would at some point miss him. After all they had met, talked, and shared a little more than a simple conversation.

His lifemate was an outgoing person, she loved her freedom, he had the feeling that she would do anything, even kill herself if her freedom was at stake. And it was exactly what he would do if he puts even the smallest of steps into her life, he would put his claim, but he had never been a person you could call easygoing.

He had been different from the start, but he had seen what happens to other soul mates, he could see the way even his Prince cut his lifemate's freedom, the way he forbid her to do some things. Even a woman, even a lifemate, even if it was dangerous, had to have a choice of her own.

He despised himself because of what he knew he would do to that beautiful girl. His soul seeked to reach to hers, sometimes he would allow himself to walk in her dreams, to tell her suiting word and whisper to her softly, and then she would wake up after he made sure she wouldn't remember a thing.

He was already controlling her, wasn't he? He had done it without even realizing. Maybe she had the right to know he was visiting in her dreams, even if she thought they were just that, dreams.

His Prince had summoned him more than once, he responded on the first call, they were all gathered to tell him that he needed to claim her. After that he never went again. Never in the Prince call there was urgency, no fear, meaning that it was nothing life threatening. Until now.

He could feel the Prince's call, strong and powerful in him mind. And it wasn't just to him, it called for every near Carpathian, because he needed help. Then a next call followed, one only and specially for me. _Marcus, we need you. You are the only other healer that can help. I had called Savannah and Raven is here, along with Gregori, but is not enough. My second in command is quickly fading and he told me that you are the only other capable enough. _

It had nothing to do with me than, but as I shape - shifted in an eagle I started to wonder what would be so urgent for Gregori not to be able to handle? All those centuries of existing one emotion never faded – curiosity. It was what kept me going from years, I knew about things nobody else had bothered to neither think nor research about. I was more than a walking encyclopedia and through my mind were moving thousands of variations about what may have happened, but none of them reached the real situation.

I landed in the woods near the Mikhail's home, knowing that there would be guars that I needed to show myself to. I just walked, past them, bowling from the neck in recognition. They didn't keep the suspicion hidden, giving me at least that respect. I knew only a few of them, the others were unfamiliar to me. Maybe they had right to doubt me, after all I had been one of the few that didn't bother to answer to the Prince's calls, it meant disrespect, but also they had no right to interfere in business that was only mine. My solitary life, single mostly had never been any of their concern.

The moment I walked inside the big house the scent of blood hit me, flaring my hunger to life. It wasn't just blood, it was human blood and I haven't fed for the night. I snarled. Why would they call me for a mere human, why would it be so urgent, they could always use conversion as a tool to salvation? Why did they need me of all people?

The answer was more than clear the moment I went to see what the whole fuss was about. I snarled, barring my teeth, not carrying about bowling to the Prince, or to even recognize him as a leader at all. I was just asking for a fight of whose bigger, I knew that, but that would be later, later when I would kill and tear in rage that they had called me for the same reason they did before. The room was full of warriors, hunters but they didn't take a step toward me, waiting, waiting but for what. I could feel her scent in the air, deep, sweet and perfect like everything else in her, but something was wrong, it was her blood that lay so thick in the air. She wasn't in the room, but I could feel her in the house, down, in the chambers under the ground.

"What have you done? What in the name of gods have you done, my Prince?" – I asked in anger. My voice was cold, but calm, but I was projecting the emotion in the room. I let them feel what I felt. I felt betrayal from my own leader, it was strong and powerful emotion when you have hunted, killed and lived in torment for centuries in the name of honor and for that man, that man that had just done something that would cost the life of many.

"I did nothing. She came here, searching for somebody, wanting to speak to me personally. But she did not stay conscious long enough for that to happen. She had fought more than one battle to come here, two vampires that we know of had died from her blades, but she is suffering a severe blood lost among other injuries. "– I smiled, an evil half smirk that was very much not a happy expression.

"And who is she, my Prince. Will I even find the name behind the she?"

"She is your lifemate."

"And from where do you know who my lifemate is? I never told her name, especially to you and your people she stayed a she, no name, no nothing. None of you have met her, even Lucian that has the freshest information, does not know her name. I made perfectly sure of that."

"She told us your name, she has been in and out of consciousness, and we made assumptions."

I snarled. I had been close to turning, so close that I the idea of snapping at my Prince did not seem like a bad idea. My existence was spinning around only one person, and I would be damned if she ever knew about me, or what I was.

"You have no need of me here; I will go before I do something that would be wrong, but not regretted." – Whatever he was about to say it was cut by a trail of curses and shouts.

"Fuck you, let me go!"

"You need to heal, your wounds are severe, you need to lie down!" – That was the voice of Raven I presumed.

"Where the fuck are my weapons, let me go dammit. I don't have the time to lie down, Jesus."

"You need to lie down! If you don't I swear I'm going to force you! "–That was Savannah, the sound of her voice was unmistakable.

"Was that a threat, if it was you are in a serious shit. Don't fuck with me, whoever you are, I have every intention of getting out of here. "

"You are safe, come and lie down. I'm not going to hurt you." – I could taste the strong compulsion, feel it even. The only response Savannah got was an evil laughter.

"Play shit all you want. I have wards that won't be easy to break, and if you don't force that healer to stop trying to break them I'm going to force him myself, you understand. " – I followed the sound, walking down the corridors to the underground chamber.

"You look like you are about to faint." – I noted when I first saw her. She jumped startled, spinning around, but the action obviously made her dizzy.

"Thanks a lot." – She muttered sarcastically, but I was there to catch her when she fell.

I shook my head, chuckling as I lifted her, moving her back on the bed. Gently I examined her wounds, but obviously she had been here from a while.

"Why hasn't she been healed?" – I asked, looking at the two women that stood awkwardly in the corner of the chamber.

"Her safeguards didn't allow any kind of healing. Gregori is still trying …"

"... And he is still no succeeding." – I finished for her, earning myself a glare from Savannah. She shook her head, turned around and left. Two seconds of gazing at Raven were enough to make her leave as well. With the wave of my hand I closed the entrance.

My attention went on the woman on the bed. I was about to start healing her when I was interrupted yet again. I swear that there was some force that was designed specially for my irritation. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _You must be careful, Marcus. Somebody build those wards for her. _I shook my head at the sound of Gregori's mental voice. _I know. I did._


	2. Patience no more

Ok I know the character is a little strange, and different from the other arrogant type of Carpathian, but I did that intentionally. I hope you like it. Reviews are welcomed, even necessary.

* * *

I healed her, enough to stop the bleeding; deciding that if she wanted to heal her wounds fully I would do so when she wakes up. Dawn was close, with every minute the sun climbed up, to move over the horizon. I could imagine the sunrise, the thousands shades of orange and purple, the warming sensation as the sun touched my skin. I had experienced that inside her head, I've seen the way she wakes up every morning, missing her sleep just to see those first glimpses of the sun, before it raised fully and lost its interest.

I had done many bad things over the centuries, bad things I regret doing, now that she has restored my emotions. But most of them I would do again if it was necessary, but there was one thing I couldn't find the will to do and that was to take the sun away from her.

I realized that we were in the Prince's bed chamber, so when the dawn fully came, I took her in my arms and moved her in my lair, so Mikhail could sleep in him own bed. I used a different way to transport her, and with a spell I dragged her weapons along. I put her on the bed, mastering a soft blanket to cover her sleeping form.

I sat on an armchair, reading an old book, but the distraction I needed never came. My mind always lingered to the woman sleeping on my bed, just as my body reacted to the proximity of hers. I was doomed, doomed to forever suffer in torment, to never find peace. I was doubting that ever meeting the sun would help, it would only make things worse. In every case ,that option was out, because even if I never intent to claim her, her soul would be broken if I die, unfortunately. Just the way, there would be only darkness for me if my light is gone.

When the night came, I was forced to go and find nourishment, but my hunger never faded. When she finally stirred it was yet again dawn.

I did not lift my gaze from my book, sure that if I let myself the luxury our options would die. My beast, now even stronger and powerful with her presence so close would put its claim. She jumped from the bed, spinning around.

"Your weapons are in the left corner, on the table" I told her, because they were probably her first thought as she woke up. "I'm a little offended that you always seem to think of your weapons first" I closed the book letting it fall on the floor, as I forced myself to meet her eyes.

Her beauty nearly stunned me. She stood facing me, determination written on her face, those lilac, lavender eyes piercing my very soul. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, on waves reminding me of the ocean. It amazed me the strange color her hair seemed to be, it was the purest black I have ever seen, and trust me I've seen a lot of black. It couldn't step on the smallest finger of Raven's, glistering in the candlelight with a strange shade of purple. I took a deep breath, but it was a mistake. Her sweet scent lingered in the air, reminding me of the finest of perfumes. Her blood called to me so strongly that I could barely stand it. I called for control, but that part of me didn't answer, my control gathered over the millennia had perished in seconds, as I stood in front of her. My attention fell on her wild heartbeat, pulsating on her neck. I forced myself to look away, but my gaze locked on those perfectly kissable lips. I wanted to reach and touch her, feel her. My body was responding to the mere idea.

"Will you let me heal you now?" She lifted a perfect eyebrow in question.

"My opinion has never stopped you before, why now?"

"I had only aided you in healing before, from a distance. Now the situation is very different. It's your choice."

"What if I deny"

"Then we will both suffer the consequences."

"Hey, they are my wounds, it's my pain!" I shook my head.

"What do you know about Carpathians, Christina? She blinked.

"Er … you are what vampires were before they turn."

"Right, and what are the common things between the two species?"

"Is that a history lesson? You both feed on blood, so?" I waited patiently for her to make the connection, as she touched her neck, her hands coming up in crimson. "Oh... so it bothers you? I thought that maybe after so many years you would be used to it, after all you can't get all vampy when someone scratches their finger."

"Not someone, only you"

"Why? What's wrong with me?" I smiled.

"Nothing is _wrong_ with you, amour, it's quite the opposite of wrong."

"And what if I agree to your healing?" Then one of my problems is settled, a hundred more to go.

"Then your pain is gone, and mine is … eased." My pain would be far from eased, I had to suffer, but she didn't.

"Is my blood the only thing you are craving for, Marcus?" There was suspicion in her voice, she really expected me to answer. I only smiled.

"We are not talking about me here, you are still bleeding, if I don't heal you, I won't be letting you go until you heal on your own, and with your wounds that more than just few days." She glared at me.

"Well, both ways you are screwed, it's in the middle of the day, you don't have power to spare." She spoke with great satisfaction, but my curiosity stirred. How did she know it was in the middle of the day? She hasn't been in this cave for two days, and like every other place underground, there were no windows. The second thing that caught my attention was being called "screwed". It amazed me how a simple teenage word as that could describe my situation so perfectly.

"There are more than one way to heal you, amour."

"Fine, but only if you leave no scars, unlike the rest of my body, I prefer my neck untouched."

"Come here, Christine" She thought about it for a second then cautiously she came closer. I reached for her hand, gently placing a kiss in the center of her palm, before my lips trailed up. I touched the raw marks on her forearm, healing them with gentle flicks of my tongue. I heard her gasp then she pulled her hand away.

"Oh, no, you don't! I have wounds _all over_ my body and you are so not healing them like that." I smirked.

"I have no intention of healing them otherwise"

"Then you are not healing them at all"

"You already agreed, are you going to back down on your word?" She swallowed hard. We both knew that if she did that she would be a coward, and she never wanted to look like she has fears. I slowly rose from the chair, looming over her. She grunted her teeth, just s I smiled, knowing her answer.

"You are fully taking advantage of the things you've seen in my head."

"Yes, I am"


	3. urgency like no other

"That's not fare!" - She exclaimed taking a step back. I took the step with her, not taking retreading as an option.

"You would do the same." - I leaned closer, to whisper in her ear. I felt her shudder as my fingertips traced the line of her arm, to reach and caress the untouched side of her neck and collarbone, lingering on her pulse. I lifted her chin, planting a chaste kiss on those perfectly kissable lips of hers, not allowing myself to do more. I traced a line down her throat, letting my tongue touch the wound. She grunted her teeth just as I felt the rough edges close under the healing agent of my saliva. I wrapped my arms around her, pressing her to my body, as I moved her head to one side for bigger access.

"Please, oh god, please ..." - She murmured so low that I barely heard it, caught in my own desire and need._ I'm no god, amour, but I'm flattered_.I spoke mentally, merging our minds to see her reaction.

"Please, what?" I asked, smiling. _Don't stop!_ It was spoken with such raw urgency and need, and I could feel every strong emotion along with her, as we shared our minds. Her pleasure heightened mine to levels of want, need and lust I had no control over. My teeth lengthened in anticipation, just as my clothes felt like a prison over my body. My beast roared in my head, wanting out, wanting to kill, wanting and needing as much as the rest of me did. I growled, fighting a battle that would leave to no end either way. I stepped away, releasing her from my embrace.

"You may rest here, I'll make my retreat in one of the other chambers. When the sun falls over the horizon I'll heal the rest of your wounds so you can leave." - I spoke slowly, knowing that I was fighting too many things at once. I knew that I was fighting a hopeless battle, I've been doing so from years, and I felt like the battle was already long lost. I sighed as I found my way out of the room.

I went inside the most far away chamber, flaring to life one single candle. Its suiting aroma was supposed to help, but can you already guess that it didn't? I mastered a hole in the ground and I let the earth close over my already exhausted body.

My eyes flew open when the light of the sun had faded to mere twilight. My senses flared to life, feeling the forest around my lair, testing for danger. When I detected none, I went out to feed my hunger, before I returned to her side.

* * *

I was trying to be quiet, knowing that he was probably sleeping somewhere around the place, but it was pretty hard when I dying out of boredom and had nothing to do. I had wondered and explored around, but other than investigating the strange carving on the walls there was nothing else I could do. I had already opened the book he had been reading, but will you believe me that it was on a language so strange that it was probably older than Latin. For hours I had tried to find something familiar in the words, or in the spelling, but there was none, even if I knew at least 10 languages, and had little trouble with other five. The book was really giving me the creeps, and it was so annoying that I could find anything to help me with deciphering the text. Er ... it was so irritating.

He had been gone for hours and since it didn't look like he would be back soon I decided to try the small natural pool that was in the corner of the room. Even if he walked inside the room, the steam from the water would be enough to cover me. And after so many centuries of living I was doubting nudity could bother him. I quickly undresses and with a hiss I sunk in the water, the liquid burning my skin. My body ached everywhere. The hundred small wound all over my body were very much complaining ti the water. I ignored the pain, and the knot in my stomach, and the fact that wherever he had touched me, my skin seemed to burn and throb, but I couldn't ignore the wickedly low curl in my abdomen. My body seemed to have a mind in its own, and it had everything with wanting that Carpathian sleeping somewhere in the next room. My body wanted to be touched, touched with rough strokes only one could master. I sighed, the water wasn't helping to relieve the tension from my muscles, or from some other parts of my anatomy I so didn't want to mention. I was holding one of my long knives in my hand, feeling extremely opened and bare. Suddenly feeling stupid and paranoid I put the knife near the edge of the pool, still keeping it in reach, needed to feel secure, sure that even fully naked I could defend myself, after all if my enemy was male, I would have advantage on my side, right. I let myself sink fully under the surface, enjoying the way my hair spilled around me. Then I got the idea that my hair was long enough to cover me, and the idea kept the vulnerable feeling at bay.

* * *

The moment I had entered my lair I knew where she was. Putting the safeguards back on place, I walked toward her, definitely aware that she was enjoying the water of the pool, but there was no force on earth that could stop me from going to her, even my own will. I wanted to see her, see the curves of her body, without the cover of clothes. Lust and need hit me hard at the first glimpse of her, the first glance of bare flesh. She was beautiful, every part of her and that wart on her shoulder was making me crazy. I wasn't making any noise, intentionally but even so in one fast movement she grabbed the handle of one of her knives, turning around to face me. My breath was caught in my throat at the sight, she was irresistible, so kissable, touchable ... My clothes suddenly became tight and uncomfortable. There was something extremely hot about a naked woman holding a weapon. I walked toward her, jumping in the pool not carrying I was wearing clothes, as I advanced on her, step by step. I saw her tense when I gently pried her fingers off the handle of the knife, as I threw the weapon ... somewhere. I drew her close, kissing her hard and firm. Colors without names danced in front of my eyes, as the earth seemed to shift under us. I wrapped us with a thick lair of power, that healed her every scratch, yet it agitated her body even more. Maybe it wasn't fare, but there was no part of me that was about to regret. I pressed her hard to my body, letting her feel my own hardness, that throbbed and needed. I tried to stp myself, a part of me calling for cloth to cover skin, but even so they clung, like second skin not helping my situation a lot.

"Gods help me, Christina, tell me to stop, tell me to stop and I will, but I seem to be unable to do so on my own." I murmured, as my hands were making an exploration, covering every inch of her skin, lingering on every hollow, mesmerizing every scar.

"I've been in your mind more than once, I know what you are asking of me, what you are going to take and ... I do not want you to stop"

"It's a bond that cannot be broken, there would be no going back"

"Going back to what? To my solitary existence, back to being alone, a light in the center of darkness?"

"it's a bond, amour, a bond that there would be no me without you, and every bond is the opposite of freedom." She nodded, licking her bottom lip, before she could answer I was already kissing, sucking and eating that same lower lip away.

Unfortunately faith was against those two because in that same moment a old friend of Marcus chose the moment to visit, disturbing their ... hm ... privacy.


End file.
